Choosing Approachability

Practical Strategies for Every Professional Context

Welcome to the final post in this series on professional presence and approachability. We've explored why approachability matters and examined the subtle signals that shape how others experience us. Now it's time for the practical part: What specific choices can you make to enhance your approachability?

The strategies I'm about to share aren't big personality changes. They're micro-choices that create openness and show consideration for others. And because approachability isn't one-size-fits-all, we'll also talk about how to adapt these choices to different contexts and cultures.

Five Strategic Choices You Can Make Today

1. Choose Open Body Language

Uncross your arms. Lean in slightly when someone is speaking. Face the person directly—or face the camera in a virtual meeting rather than looking off to the side at another monitor.

These physical choices communicate engagement and receptivity. They signal to others that you're present and available. When you create physical openness, you invite conversational openness.

2. Choose to Ask Curious Questions

Show genuine interest in others by asking questions that invite discussion. Open-ended questions work best because they create space for dialogue rather than shutting it down.

Instead of "Did that work?" try "What was your experience with that?"

Instead of "Any problems?" try "What challenges are you navigating right now?"

The choice to be curious rather than interrogative makes all the difference in how safe people feel opening up to you.

3. Choose to Match Your Tone to the Moment

Whether you need to be calm, encouraging, or collaborative, try to choose calmness and control of your emotions—even during challenging times. If you become frenetic, that communicates to others that you're not in a place to listen or hear them.

Particularly when things are difficult, as a leader, you need to choose emotional control. You're telegraphing to others whether the situation is manageable. Your tone sets the temperature of the room.

4. Choose to Show People You're Listening

Not just with your words, but with your face and posture. Nod occasionally. Maintain appropriate eye contact. Put down your phone. Close your laptop if you don't need it for note-taking.

These choices communicate "you matter" more powerfully than any words could.

5. Choose Transparency When You Can't Make Optimal Choices

Sometimes circumstances prevent you from making the ideal choice. Maybe you need to keep your camera off in a virtual meeting. Maybe you have to type while someone is talking. When this happens, acknowledge it. Give an explanation.

For example:

• "I apologize for keeping my camera off. I have workers repairing my air conditioner and I don't want it to be distracting that they're walking back and forth behind me."

• "I apologize that I'm focusing on my computer during the meeting. I was asked to take notes and need to type them. Please rest assured I'm listening and happy to pause to answer any questions."

This simple act of transparency transforms a potentially negative signal into a choice that shows respect and consideration.

My Personal Strategy: Remembering to Breathe

Let me share one of my own micro-choices. I choose to remind myself to breathe.

Sounds really simple and basic, right? But it's necessary. When I'm deep in thought about an issue, I have the tendency to hold my breath, which has the domino effect of not smiling, having tense posture, and looking unapproachable. When you choose to take the time to breathe, you slow down and give yourself a moment to think, reflect, and be self-aware. You also calm your body, which comes through in your micro-expressions and movements.

This is a choice I have to make consciously throughout the day. And it makes a real difference in how others experience me.

Context Matters: Adapting Your Choices

Here's where things get nuanced. The choices that work in a team meeting might look different during a performance review or client pitch. The key is to stay authentic—but also adaptable.

Context, audience, and setting all influence how your choices are received. The underlying principle remains the same: choose to act with respect and consideration for others. But what that looks like can vary significantly.

Before any important interaction, think carefully about:

Who you're meeting with and the purpose of the meeting. What environment should you choose to set through your facial expressions, body language, and tone? What are their expectations?

Cultural considerations. Do they come from a culture that prizes more formality or less formality? Choose to respect their comfort level.

Consider whether to use first names or last names with honorifics. In some professional contexts and cultures, using someone's first name without invitation is disrespectful. In others, insisting on formality creates uncomfortable distance.

Eye contact expectations. In the US, we generally expect direct eye contact about 40-60% of the time. Some cultures see this much eye contact as too aggressive. Other cultures see it as not enough and interpret less eye contact as weakness or dishonesty. Do your research and adapt accordingly.

Greeting preferences. What do respectful and welcoming greetings look like in their culture? Choose to greet them in a way that feels comfortable to them. Does everyone shake hands, or do some people refrain from any physical touch?

Dress code. What is the expected dress code? Choose to dress appropriately for their expectations. Going into a team meeting in the tech industry, you'll be expected to dress differently than if you're doing a client pitch in the investment banking world.

Approachability includes choosing to meet people where they feel comfortable. Choose to adjust your style to fit with their concept of respect and consideration.

Putting It All Together: Credibility Through Choice

When you pair competence with approachability through conscious choices, you become someone people trust and want to work with. That's credibility.

It won't matter how much you know or how many years of experience you have if people don't trust you and don't want to work with you because of the choices you make in how you treat them.

Humility is a huge part of putting this all together—and it's absolutely a choice. You can choose to demonstrate your competence, your expertise, and your worth while also choosing to be approachable and setting the tone for others to want to work with you.

And that's the goal—not just to be seen as capable, but to be experienced as someone who consistently chooses to bring others in through respectful, considerate behavior.

Your Reflection Activity

There's a ripple effect for each conscious choice you make. Every little choice makes a difference—not just for others, but for the kind of professional environment you help create.

So here's my question for you: What's one small choice you can commit to making this week to be more approachable in your professional life?

It could be choosing better eye contact, choosing a warmer tone in emails, choosing how you open meetings—whatever fits your style and context. The key is recognizing that it IS a choice, and you have the power to make it consistently.

Take a moment right now to jot it down. Write it somewhere you'll see it daily. Make it concrete and specific.

Remember: etiquette isn't something you either have or don't have. It's something you choose, moment by moment, interaction by interaction.

Final Thoughts

Your presence is your message—often before you speak. And you have more influence over that message than you may think, because every element of your presence reflects choices you make.

When you choose to focus on how you can be approachable to others, you create an environment that will breed success.

Approachability fuels connection. Connection fuels trust. And trust leads to stronger collaboration and outcomes. But it all starts with the daily choice to act with respect and consideration for others.

Every day presents you with multiple opportunities to choose etiquette—to choose respect and consideration for others. These choices, small as they may seem, create the professional presence that defines how others experience you.

As you move forward, I encourage you to see each professional interaction as an opportunity to make a choice—a choice to demonstrate respect, consideration, and approachability. These daily choices will transform not just how others see you, but how you see yourself as a professional.