The Hidden Power of Approachability
Why Your Professional Presence Is a Daily Choice
We spend countless hours perfecting our elevator pitches, polishing our resumes, and rehearsing what we'll say in important meetings. But here's something that might surprise you: those carefully chosen words account for only 7% of the first impression you make.
The remaining 93%? That's all about how you show up—your posture, your facial expressions, your eye contact, whether you're dressed appropriately for the situation, and the energy you bring into the room. And here's the really important part: every single one of these elements is a choice you make.
More Than Just Looking Confident
Maya Angelou said it perfectly: "People will never forget how you made them feel."
Your professional presence isn't just about projecting confidence or competence. It's about making the people around you feel safe, heard, and seen. It's about creating an environment where others feel comfortable approaching you with ideas, concerns, or questions. And it happens through the dozens of small choices you make every single day.
We make first impressions quickly—within the first 30 seconds of meeting someone. But here's what many people miss: every subsequent interaction is also a choice. You choose whether to reinforce that first impression positively or negatively through your ongoing behavior. Etiquette isn't a fixed trait you either have or don't have—it's a series of choices you make, multiple times a day, to act with respect and consideration for others.
The Ripple Effect of Your Choices
Let me share an example from my own experience. I've worked with someone over the years who has what we might kindly call a "big personality." Unfortunately, they consistently choose behaviors that prioritize their own needs over the comfort of others. They choose to speak too loudly, to interject frequently (or what we might call interrupting), and to always have a story that tops whatever another person is discussing. Their physical behaviors consistently choose to either take up too much space in the room or close off when they aren't getting the attention they want.
These aren't accidental behaviors—they're consistent choices that prioritize self-promotion over consideration for others.
The result? Over the years, this person has become generally mistrusted by those in their field. People doubt the accuracy of their advice, question whether their stories are completely true, and generally feel that they're uninterested in anyone but themselves. This doesn't scream "professional"—and it certainly doesn't reflect choices rooted in respect and consideration for others.
This is what I call the cause-and-effect of professional presence. The choices we make—consciously or unconsciously—create real impacts on the people around us.
What Approachability Actually Looks Like
When I talk about an approachable professional presence, I mean warmth, openness, clarity, and calm confidence. It's not about being everyone's best friend or being overly casual. It's about consistently choosing to be someone others feel comfortable engaging with.
An approachable presence includes choosing:
Honesty with others in your communications and commitments
Consistency in following through with what you say you will do
To listen at least as much as you speak, showing others that they can come to you and you will hear them
To demonstrate respect for others through a wide range of behaviors: being on time, checking your tone in written and verbal communications, recognizing their contributions, being aware of signs that they might need help or kindness
Clarity in how you communicate—not harshly direct, but clear enough that people don't feel confused or uncertain
Essential professional behaviors like appropriate greetings, eye contact, and body language that demonstrate you're attentive to the other person
The beauty of this framework is that every single one of these is within your control as a choice you make.
The Power of Invitation
When you consciously choose to lead with openness, people feel more comfortable offering feedback or ideas. When you choose to stay grounded and calm, others tend to trust you more. Approachability is an invitation—and it's one you extend through your daily choices. It creates a space where connection and collaboration thrive.
Consider this scenario: You've discovered an issue with a work project that's going to require extra effort from the team. You knock on a colleague's office door, wanting to speak with them about the problem. They pause what they're doing, face the door, smile, make eye contact, and welcome you in. They sit across from you, relaxed and attentive, and ask how you're doing, maybe inquiring about a family event you recently mentioned. After a bit of light conversation, they ask how they can help you.
Notice all the choices this person made: to pause their work, to physically orient toward you, to engage their facial muscles in a smile, to make eye contact, to create a welcoming atmosphere, to remember personal details about your life, and to offer help. Each choice was made with consideration for your comfort and needs.
How willing would you be to discuss a difficult issue with this person? Pretty willing, I'd guess.
Leaders who choose to be approachable create an environment that supports collaboration and cooperation, rather than competition. They make people feel seen through their conscious choices.
Why This Matters Now
In fast-paced, cross-functional, and increasingly virtual work environments, the ability to create psychological safety through approachability is more valuable than ever. It's not just a "nice to have"—it's a competitive advantage.
When you pair competence with approachability through conscious choices, you become someone people trust and want to work with. That's credibility. It won't matter how much you know or how many years of experience you have if people don't trust you and don't want to work with you because of the choices you make in how you treat them.
Every day presents you with multiple opportunities to choose etiquette—to choose respect and consideration for others. These choices, small as they may seem, create the professional presence that defines how others experience you.
In my next post, I'll explore the subtle signals that shape how others perceive you—including some behaviors you might not even realize you're choosing. We'll look at the flip side of approachability: what happens when our choices create a closed-off presence, and the specific cues that speak louder than our words.